Make yourself more
available for life.

There was a time I had to get radically honest about my life. The truth is, I didn't come to this work because I was curious — or even interested — I came because I was in a state, and I was trying to punish a man.

Specifically, I was on a bender after having walked in on my quite unwell then-boyfriend cheating on me in an exceptionally grotesque way. It was thanks to this that — somewhere between all the drinking, weeping, and Ben & Jerry's — I found my teacher, and a new dimension of life opened up.

I didn't know anything about Phil T. Mistlberger or transpersonal therapy at the time. I just knew something needed to change, and my spiritual woo-woo friend had mentioned this guy a week prior whose weird name I happened to remember (T is for Teertha, Sanskrit for "bridge" or "teacher").

I tracked him down and booked a private session, where he suggested I join his 16 week shadow work and radical honesty intensive, Conscious Relationship Training (CRT). I jumped at the chance to punish (and possibly fix!) the boyfriend and signed us both up, smugly confident that he was the problem and I was a saint for putting up with him.

Spoiler: I was wrong and I am not a saint.

Those 16 weeks of CRT afforded me the opportunity to look — and really see — the unconscious patterns that were running my life and relationships.

So I looked, and what I saw was...ghastly.

Everywhere I turned, there was just more me: every rejected aspect, every part of my personality fabricated out of fear and shame, every relational pattern I'd blamed on every partner I'd ever chosen.

Radical honesty was a gift that showed me I was the throughline. That the one thing all my troubles had in common was ME. That my channel was distorted AF — and that I alone had the power to change it.

That's when life transformed.

Needless to say, that old explosive romance came to a predictably messy conclusion, and those 16 weeks of CRT turned into hundreds. Eventually I began leading sessions, and around the same time, I was initiated into Phil's mystery school (Temple of Anubis), where I went down a deep esoteric rabbit hole — in part, looking for magic to salve my wounds.

It worked. Radical honesty and metaphysics opened my life in profound, unexpected ways — but I didn't have the nervous system fortitude to handle it. The intensive self-discovery, undeniable magic, and relentless synchronicities quickly became too much. I needed to grow my inner infrastructure to process it.

So I stepped back, and did just that: I gained regulation skills, and an ability to experience big sensations and emotions without freaking out. Once I'd grown my capacity to hold more of the fullness of life, I could hold more of the magic of it too — and then I stepped back in.

Today, I help other people do the same.

Since then, I've attained the temple's Inner Order, gotten a master's degree in Metaphysical Sciences, swapped a high-powered big-city corporate experience for slow, quiet, island living, and changed how I show up for life in honour of my timing, my system, and my natural skill set.

I left my conditioning and everyone else's expectations at the door and discovered that I'm actually more loved, more helpful, and more fulfilled as a result — an objective reality that's the opposite of what my old fears had led me to believe.

Now, I live for the moment people realize they aren't limited to the defended, reactive, fearful version of themselves — and that their lives and relationships aren't either. When they first glimpse their connection with Something Greater — that ever-present source of power and support — and learn to activate it.

Whether by chance or by destiny, I happened upon this transformative experience. And thanks to a skilled and honest teacher, I got out of my own way long enough to let the magic play out. I hope you'll do the same.

With love,
Steph